Friday, February 20, 2009

Learning a lot

Children go through growth spurts. It's a fact. One day they fit in their clothes, and the next there is a minor state of panic when you discover that adorable outfit that fit two days ago suddenly seems way too small. I think adults go through growth spurts too, only not physical ones (although on occasion we do). Sometimes it's a growth spurt in our relationship with Christ, or maybe a change in the dynamic of your marriage. Well, I've been going through one over the last few weeks and it seems to be a combination of everything from the two spurts I just mentioned to how I view myself and what I want to do with my life. I'm still one of those forever kids dreaming of what I want to be when I grow up--and trying to figure out where God is actually leading me. I believe that many desires of what we want to do with our lives stem from God's plans for us, at least that applies if you are closely walking with Him. I remember having a conversation once with someone about the verse that says that God will give us the desires of our heart. That doesn't mean necessarily a dream job or a particular car or vacation we want, but rather that when we are fervently seeking after Christ, His desires become our desires. That being said, these last few weeks have been ones where I seem to catch a glimpse of what He has planned for us. No clear pictures by any stretch of means, but just little feelings or images and the knowledge that He has brought us to this place for a reason. Still don't know that reason yet, but it's there and unfolding slowly nonetheless. Something else I am continually learning is just how much family means to me. Having grown up without knowing most of them, I've realized how much I missed out on and am looking forward to what is in the process now. God gave us our families for a reason. Sometimes things don't go so hot and you wind up getting painful lessons out of the relationship more than anything else. Other times you get to bask in the enjoyment of good relationships and feeling amazed at how God brings people together. Both the pain and the joy shape our lives.
Okay, quasi-philosophical moment over. In the latest news, basketball season ended last week (Hallelujah, wait, did I just admit that??!!). I enjoyed the season, but it was certainly a challenge. Being a coach's wife can be really rough, especially when parents have bad attitudes. I learned a lot about holding my temper! H1 is now tutoring Monday - Thursday after school for a couple hours. The school pays him pretty decently for that, and we're looking forward to that extra income. I'm still trying to hunt down a part time job that is condusive to H1's work schedule and won't cut into my time with H3 (aka a night job), but that's been slow in coming. I've applied to a few and am waiting to hear back. One is a nanny job, one is working with the U.S. Census Bureau, and one is a Security Office at the local nuclear power plant (I'd get to go to work with body armor and a gun). I wouldn't mind any of the three, but with the local job market there's no guarantee I'd even get one. So in the meantime I'm still working on my baking skills and enjoying being around the house. There's a lot more going on, but it's going to have to wait until I take care of H3. The "philosophical" post was the main point to this one, I suppose, as I needed to write down my thoughts.