Thursday, July 25, 2013

Anniversary Post From A Friend

A friend of mine wrote the following yesterday on facebook, sharing her thoughts on 14 years of marriage. So much of this rings a bell in my life, and I wanted it share it. We have walked side-by-side with this couple and their fabulous children for the last almost-8 years, and rarely have I met a more real family who is so open about their daily lives seeking after God. Not religion. Never religion. Genuine faith, genuine love for people, and tackling the difficult issues in life head-on and running to the Lord. Congratulations on your anniversary guys!   ~H2

Today, Dean and I celebrate our 14th Anniversary. Yes, we were like 8 when we got married. ha. It's long, but just keep reading. Just because. 
Things I have learned during 14 years of marriage:
-14 years is NOT a very long time 
-The more birthdays, (and the more kids) you have, the faster it goes...
-Life may be quite an adventure, but it is definitely no Disney fairy tale
-90% of what I heard/thought about marriage/family/roles throughout the first 20 years of my life I would have been better off without
-Living passionately is ok - you may have passionate "discussions" (haha), but chances are you'll love more passionately, and feel more fully too. The upside is more than worth the downside 
-Take chances!!! - you might move 9 times in just over a decade (ahem), but it sure beats a dry existence!
-What your family thinks about your spouse matters a great deal - maybe more than it should
-The very couples/families that you think have it all together, generally are the very ones who don't. Envy no one.
-Some people have a lot of luck in every possible way - their cars always work, their kids are perfect, their relationships are like a Grace Livingston Hill novel, their jobs are never in jeopardy, their health is amazing, they've completed Dave Ramsey's plan for financial freedom and are living off of the interest in their savings account, also they are beautiful and photogenic in every picture. We will never be those people. Chances are, neither will you. Embrace the mess. Or try too.  Keeps life exciting
-Husbands will never stop throwing their socks on their side of the bed instead of into the laundry basket
-Wives will never stop saying "watch it" in the car
-God defines and ordains the covenant of marriage - not the state, congress, countries, committees, or even churches and licenses. Chew on that for a while...
-Speaking of covenants, the only useful piece of advice I remember from pre-marriage counseling was 'at some point in your marriage, chances are that one, or both, of you will want out - you have to decide beforehand that it's not an option, even when it is...'
-If you marry young, and "grow up together", it won't be easy - you will both change - sometimes drastically, but it's never, ever (ever) boring! 
-It's true that the things you find endearing about your spouse prior to marriage have the potential to annoy the crap out of you after a decade. But it's also true that things you never noticed about your spouse before, you suddenly find endearing!
-Love deepens and changes with time in an inexplicable way.
***I think that Calvin Miller summed it up perfectly in his book "Life Is Mostly Edges" - "I feel sorry for all those who announce at twenty or thirty, 'Yippee! I'm in love!' I have the awfullest urge to slap them out of their hysteria and say, 'Hey puppy, you don't know anything about love. Love exists only in the lives of those who have learned to kiss in the laboratory of pain. Love is the kiss that has laid aside by the fire of the honeymoon night, and found itself in the chaste hello of the cancer ward. Love is the trembling feel of faithful lips on a wrinkled hand. Love is a willingness to walk slow when our lover finds each plodding step a triumph over sluggish tendons. Come back to me you over-ecstatic, untried twenty-year-olds, when you are broken by age, then tell me of your love once you have gained the right to define it."
Dean Boring I love you.  But not as well or as much as I hope to 25, 35, or even 45 years from now! Thank you for our journey! xo

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